ineedanepiphany | (no subject)

He's not pouting about it, really. People are still coming over, mostly, and there will still be sweets, even if it's not birthday cake. Seokjin tries to keep Namjoon's suggestion in mind that they've asked for hotteok so that he doesn't have to cook all by himself (never mind that he wouldn't have to cook at all if he bought a birthday cake). He's almost finished getting everything ready too. The hotteok batter is proofing. The miyeok guk is simmering on the stove.

A text went off an hour ago with a generous birthday gift from his father. The number still makes Seokjin's stomach twist to think about.

And maybe he should have just reminded the others that today is his birthday. It's just that he'd sort of hoped they'd remember without him saying but maybe that's just a selfish expectation.

He really shouldn't pout. But he does have the face for it.

There's a knock on the door and a buzz from his phone and Seokjin smiles his biggest smile. At least someone's come. That should be enough.

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Seokjin smiles wide, nodding enthusiastically. He wonders if his friends realize how few actually personal gifts he's received on his birthdays. Everything from his family has been expensive and not to his taste, even his now-beloved truck. If Seokjin had had his choice, it would have been something more agile, less aggressive. It's only now that he has to wrangle seven people from place to place that he loves it.

"It's perfect," he says. "Is that why Jungkookie didn't protest when I made him eat the really hot noodles? You were too busy spying?" Because that thought delights him almost as much as the gift itself.

Yoongi laughs, delighted by the memory. Poor Jungkook. "No, he did the spying," he says. "I was the distraction. He just did that 'cause he likes noodles. And you, I guess." If it hadn't been for Jin's encouragement — and the fact he did the cooking — Yoongi doubts Jungkook would have eaten noodles that spicy. Still, that was his own mistake to make. "Glad you like it."

He kind of wishes he'd had a chance to get a gift of his own for Seokjin, but Christmas is coming up fast and he'll make up for it then.

Seokjin laughs at that. "There's liking noodles and then there's taking one for the team," he says. The normal spicy ramyeon isn't bad, especially when the noodles themselves are so good, but the 2x sauce is probably a bit cruel.

"I really mean it, you know. This is the best birthday I've had in a really, really long time." If he weren't surrounded by friends so invested in him being happy, Jin thinks he might be crying from how much they've touched his heart tonight.

Yoongi reaches over to touch Seokjin's leg briefly. "Good," he says. He knows enough about Seokjin's family not to be surprised by that. They seem like the kind of people who buy expensive gifts with no meaning behind them. Even if the group only managed to get him one gift, at least they thought about what he likes and all tried. Of course they're better at it. It's just a relief to know it all worked out and that Jin feels as loved as he is.

"We're your real family."

Seokjin knows it's true and he's thought the same thing so many times, but hearing Yoongi say it makes some wall just crumble inside himself. Emotion seems to surge outward from his heart and all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes and, embarrassingly, to his eyes. Jin swipes quickly at them, stubbornly refusing to cry.

"I know you are," he says, proud of having a steady voice.

"Good," Yoongi says. "You'd better. Your other family sucks. We're much better."

It is, he thinks, nothing more or less than fact, indisputable. He doubts Seokjin would even try. On his periphery, Yoongi can see him try to wipe his eyes discreetly; it's hard to miss the way Seokjin shifts against his side, though. He's just not about to comment.

"Don't say that," Seokjin says but it's just a token protest and they both know it. He'd also never dare to say it out loud but of all of them, Jin thinks he got off the lightest if they compared. At least his family provides for him and makes it so he can provide for them.

"But I love you guys. It's true."

Yoongi is pretty sure he's never actually going to stop saying that Seokjin's family sucks. He won't say it again today, but there's always the future. It's not his fault that it's just true.

"Because we're the best," he says simply. "It's just what you deserve. Besides, we like it here."

Seokjin huffs out a laugh, nodding. "It's true," he agrees. His family, the real one gathered in this apartment, are the people who matter. He hates to think it because he knows it makes him a bad son but if it came down to his blood family and the six friends here? Seokjin would turn his back on his family in a second.

"I like this place better when you're all here."

It's hardly a revelation, but it still makes Yoongi a little sad. He doesn't like to think of Seokjin here by himself in between their visits, bored at best or desperately lonely. He really does deserve better than that. Yoongi just has no idea how to give it to him.

"Maybe you should get a roommate," he says lightly. "Pretty sure any of us would love to move out of our homes." There's a part of him that wants to joke about his own circumstances, about how he'll need a place to stay if his father ever finds out about him, but it's too sad a joke to make, too true, for a party.

"What do you think I've been trying to do with one of you for the past year?" he retorts. It's certainly not from a lack of trying, he'd say, but he also knows that each of them has a reason for not leaving his situation behind. Health, family, pride. All of them prevent them from walking away.

You should stay over tonight though. All of you but definitely my koyoong-i cat."